Check out the Ioan Gruffudd gallery

We love a bit of posh at Totty Towers and it doesn’t come any finer than homegrown Ioan Gruffud. In this summer’s blockbuster Fantastic Four (out in the UK on 22 July 2005), Ioan plays scientist Dr. Reed Richards who messes up his molecules after a bodged experiment in space that enables his body to contort and stretch into any shape (and position) he likes.

Well, we thought Ioan was pretty hot to start with, but now we know he is the one and only Mr. Fantastic.

Name
Ioan Gruffudd (Pronounced YO-an GRIFF-ith).

Vitals
Born 6 October 1973 in Cardiff, Wales.

Taking The Bull By The Horns
Ioan started acting at 14 in a Welsh soap called People of the Valley. Mmm! Sounds a bit sinister to us and we’re wondering if there’s “a local shop for local people” there. Since then he’s discovered his penchant for dressing up and has made his name acting in historical dramas - Poldark, Titanic, The Forsyth Saga and King Arthur are all notches on his period costume belt, but he’s probably still best known as Horatio Hornblower.

With a name like Hornblower he’s asking for trouble really and he’s not doing very much to play down the campness of the role. “The arses on the trousers aren’t very tight. They’re very loose and baggy and I like tight trousers. And the shoes – the shoes have got a bit of a heel, and it’s a strange sensation for a man. Especially when you’re running.” He mimes a mincing trot. “I am mighty Hornblower! Watch me run like a girl!”

Ioan might be straight but he doesn’t mind playing gay in the movies. In Very Annie Mary he stars as one half of a gay shop-keeping couple – Hob and Nob. And in Wilde Ioan was Oscar’s ‘very close friend’ John Gray and the inspiration for him to pen The Picture of Dorian Gray. Interestingly when Wilde took up with Bosie, John turned to the priesthood and eventually renounced his wayward lifestyle and the poetry he’d written.

Bond Ambition
Ioan is hotly tipped to play the new Bond, but then who isn’t. [I heard a rumour that Norris from Coronation Street was in the running and Rita was going to be his Bond girl, Ed.] Totty Watch considers Ioan to be a prime candidate and it seems he agrees stating that if he got the call he would do it in a second.

In One End And Out The Other
In theory, Mr. Fantastic would be able to stretch his dick as far as the eye can see! This got Totty Watch thinking of the fun to be had if you were made of rubber or elastic. You’d never need to worry about the elastic going in your knickers or slipping over in the bath, for instance. A bout of frottage on the tube need no longer be a persona non grata episode. Groping could be done form a completely different carriage and the victim need never know who the perpetrator was.

Lazy rubber people would have the time of their lives. You could position your bottom half on the sofa while your top half could do all the household chores. The possibilities are endless, but most of all you could mould yourself into any shape he wants you to be.

Worth Knowing
Ioan once appeared in Westlife’s video for ‘Uptown Girl’.

“I’m determined not to lose my name. It’s who I am. So what if it’s difficult for people to pronounce? We all learned how to say Schwarzenegger.” Totty Watch’s advice is to have a rethink on this one Ian Griffiths.

Availability
Would you Adam and Eve it; Ioan was still a virgin at the age of 22!  And he shares a flat in London with fellow Welshman and his lover in Very Annie Mary Matthew Rhys. How sweet that they take their work home with them.

Give Me More
Bend over backwards and show us just how flexible you really are by taking a peek at these cute pics of the gorgeous Welshman.

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Buy Very Annie Mary on DVD today and see Ioan playing it gay.